i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
my liver is dry heaving
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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