anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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