Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
