Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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