I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
