Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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