If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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