I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
