Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I AM VODKA MAN
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
