So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize