you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
The air taste purple.
Randomize
