Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
