I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
