i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize