Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
