wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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