Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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