i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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