it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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