So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
