I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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