Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I am naked and annoyed.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize