just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
