You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
