We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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