Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
