it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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