i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
