I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
