Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
