You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
