You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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