dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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