I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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