1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
