your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
