if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Randomize
