Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You don't make any sense
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