so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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