i barfeds in our rink
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
