Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
