cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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