Midget sex pt 2 tonight
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
