New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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