I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
handjob tips. give me some.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
