youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
