But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
