According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
