We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Randomize
