Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
That's how pantless uber rides happen
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