The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
