i permit you to call me
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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