Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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