Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize