yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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