goodnight i made you a song goodbye
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
