i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
