maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize