Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
