his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
