so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
this just has baby written all over it
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
