i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
