all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She even gives head with a lisp.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Are we still banned from the library?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize