so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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