There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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