wat bout pragnant strippers??
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
