They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
