so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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