No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
