we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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