I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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